First Day of School!

Today was Nyah's first day at her 2's program. It's only a 2.5 hour program (2 hours today) but for her it is still school and sooo exciting! She had been talking about it all weekend and asking when she could go to school and the big day was finally here! We picked out a new outfit for her and had a nice big breakfast so she would have enough energy to last through the class!


So we are in the car and here is our conversation:

Nyah: "Mommy, you don't have to come."
Me: " I have to come - who else will drive you to school?"
Nyah: "OK but then you can leave"
Me: "Well I am going to give you to your teacher and put your things away in your cubby - so I'll stay a little while"
Nyah: "Maybe just 15 minutes mommy"
Me: "15 might be too much how about 5"
Nyah: "OK mommy, just 5 minutes"

I was in tears before we even got to the school!

Then once we were there I walked her to her class and I wanted to take pictures of her first day in her new outfit and in front of her new classroom and although she let me take my pictures she was just waiting for me to be finished so she could go into her classroom!

Once we got inside I may as well have left her at the door because I was invisible! She started playing and couldn't care less if I was there or not! I put her stuff in her cubby - took some more pics of her playing and then told her I was leaving - she barely looked up at me when she said "Bye mommy see you later"

I of course got down on the floor with her and got my kiss but I was so teary eyed that my little baby didn't need me at all!

Then I was hovering outside because I didn't want to be the only mom leaving since all the other moms were staring through the one way glass to watch their kids who were crying and screaming and trying to get back out to their mommies. Nyah was playing and looking at the other kids like they were crazy!

I wandered around the boutique store for 10 minutes just so I didn't look like such a bad mom who just took off on the first day - but what could I do? My baby didn't need me. I had served my purpose for 2.5 years and now I was dispensable!!

OK I know I should be happy that she went in without a fuss and had a great day and didn't ask for me once but part of me feels sad for the same reasons! I didn't want a dramatic tantrum but a little "I'll miss you mommy" or "come back soon mommy" would have been nice.

At least when I picked her up I got a running welcome and she was really happy to see me. (Even before I gave her a Twizzler) She hadn't gone potty the whole 2 hours (or since breakfast) but she was dry and went potty before we went home.

I guess I have to accept that my little baby is not a baby anymore - her independence is going to be hard for me to get used to.